How does that look? It's not easy. I mean think about it- the grizzly bear snoring away next to you who always leaves their half drunk coco-cola bottles in your car or the always half-way through a household project and never gets up to turn the lights off woman won't always cultivate an emotion of "care". I have discovered that caring for one another is found in the small and simple things, instead of always pointing out the flaws of the other.
For example, a dear friend of mine (and a marriage I have always admired) once shared with me right before I started dating James a story from early on in her marriage. She told me how one day, just a few months into their marriage, she was cleaning the house and found a spider. Not a huge set back to her routine, but nonetheless she took it upon herself to show her spouse she cared. She called him at work (only a few blocks from home) and told him there was a spider in the house and she needed him to come kill it. Of course, he thought it was ridiculous that she wouldn't just handle it herself. She wasn't a fearful woman or one incapable to kill a spider. However, he got in his car, drove home, and killed the spider. Why? Because he cared about her.
I know this story may seem silly to some, but it truly does speak volumes. See at the beginning of their marriage they were already setting up opportunities and a standard for one another to show that they cared. The pivotal and most vital part of this story is the fact that they BOTH showed they cared. She could have assassinated the little terror herself and her husband would have never known. She instead took an opportunity to build him up and show that in all things she needed him. He could have ignored her call and told her it was a stupid request and to just deal with it, but instead he came to her rescue because she asked. This is just a small example in their marriage that has grown over the years.
The other day James cleaned up the office. It was packed full with boxes, crafts things from the wedding, and every other miscellaneous item you could think of. And he just cleaned it. I didn't ask him to, but he did know it was on my to-do list so he took care of it. So in return, I worked on the garage one day while he was at work and gave him a man-cave. I love having the office clean and ready for guests and he absolutely loves walking into the garage and having a place all to himself. We do things for one another, not out of obligation to each other, but because we deeply care for one another and want that established now. We also understand that it is not a one way road. We both have to care and not stop caring for the other, even through the tough times.
There's a first marriage tid-bit for you.
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