Inadequate Days

This is a little bit of a harder post to write. The week after we found out I was pregnant, I began to have all day sickness. This was a whole new experience and I think it has run it's course (Thank you Jesus!) But nonetheless, it really messed with my balance I feel like.

I slacked on cleaning house.

I slacked on being a mother.

I slacked on being a wife.

I slacked on helping others.

I slacked on building my business.

I have felt inadequate. This is the word that for the last month has resonated over my life. Even in the midst of good days...days where I accomplished so much...days of complete success. I still felt inadequate. No one made me feel this way...it was just me putting expectations on myself and not meeting them.

Then this week, James and I made a major life decision. While he is in the process of looking for a job, we decided that I should invest more into my growing business. This last year I have built my coaching business pretty much on my phone, late in the night, and with really no set time frames. Ezra is now actually taking a steady 2 hour nap everyday and so I try to devote as much time as I possibly can to my business, but housework, errands, life are ALWAYS at the back of my mind. So our decision was that not only would I fully devote those 2 hours a day, but an additional 2 hours and James would completely take over housework.

Can I be honest with you? I was so excited! I didn't have to do dishes AND I get to help people believe in themselves while reaching some fitness goals they never dreamed they could achieve? I definitely got the winning end of this deal! Then it happened. Doubt and fear overwhelmed me. I do not fail and if I stepped out on this new journey...the chances of failing were significant. Yesterday was the epitome of my fear of failing and I felt depressed throughout the day. I moped around and could not find any "ump" to my day. I finished my night with some reading from my personal devotion book, "You are already amazing" (I HIGHLY recommend it) and I remembered a few things:

1) "You have a purpose that no one else has, and how that unfolds will look different for you than for any other woman in your life". Holley Gerth knows how to hit home. I don't need to compare myself as failing while I see other moms balancing life, career, and volunteering. We are all on a different path and have different things to accomplish. Each of us will look different with failures and successes.

2) I had not drinken Shakeo in 3 days. Ok...I know...it sounds silly. But seriously, it has a major impact when I stop drinking it. I fuel my body with fairly clean foods everyday. We eat about 90% VERY healthy. (Remember no junk food in the house for this preggo mama?) But we also drink Shakeology everyday. Why? Because any nutrients I am missing out on, this meal fully encompasses everything that my body truly needs. When I stop giving my body what it needs, it stops working properly..I get off balanced...and the feeling of inadequacy protrudes out.

3) Failure is ok. In some cases, it is actually good! But letting a deep fear prevent me from walking towards a dream of mine is not ok. I actually have to give credit to my Pastor's oldest son this week for reminding me to take a leap of faith. He was trying to sell me a wood carving of his (which I need to buy now) that had the quote, "But what if you fall...oh darling, but what if you fly?". Could this not be more true? You can walk in fear and be fully surrounded by it and live in a 'what if' state of mind....or you can embrace the fall and maybe just fly a little while you try.

I still feel inadequate in a lot of areas of my life, but I also know that I am not meant to be perfect. There is only one person who is perfect. I am enough though, because Jesus is enough in me. And I will be living this life to the fullest.

The Hubby Speaks: Be Intentional

By the one and only: James Corbin

So Thursday afternoon, driving home from beautiful sunny southern California, after a long day of work I had a thought…

I have not bought my wife flowers in well, I can’t remember the last time I got her flowers.

So after my seven hour drive, I pull off the highway and bought a bouquet of flowers.  Nothing crazy, not a $500 dollar piece, just a little token. 

I had lost being intentional in this small area.  My wife loves flowers.  I just forget things.

The look on her face when I got home was as if I had upgraded her wedding ring to a 5 ct. flawless stone.  She loved them. I was intentional. 

So what does me getting flowers have to do with fitness, faith, finances, or family? Nothing.  But me being intentional is everything.

Fitness:

You will not become healthy, by chance. 

You are not going to go bed one night looking like Jabba the Hutt, and wake up looking like an underwear model.  It does not happen.

Be intentional.  Get a good nutrition plan, get off the couch, get some accountability, and be intentional in your health

Faith:

Whatever you aspire to... You will not become super saint at the snap of a finger. 

You must be intentional.

Pray, give, volunteer, live according to the tenants of your faith.

Finances:

A guy at a store I was at this week was telling me about playing the powerball this weekend.  I told him, “ The lotto is a tax on the stupid”.

You’re not going to become wealthy overnight.

You must be intentional. 

Go to school, learn a trade. Master it. Then work your butt off.  Then, work some more, then more.

It takes hard work, but leaving it to chance is foolish.

Family:

You must be intentional.

Just because you have the title of husband or wife, does not make you the best spouse in the world.

Have you seen the divorce rate in this nation?  Google it. It sucks. 

Do small things to show your better half that they are your better half.

Flowers, spa trips, cleaning up the house, surprise road trips, and the occasional Mr. Goodbar are all small things, but they require an active thought of your spouse.

For men specifically, one thing that is so hard, but so important to your wife, is communication.

Talk, use your mouth for something other than blowing hot air.

With your kids, spend time with them.  Children for the most part spell love like this: T-I-M-E.  I spend a ton of time away from home; it’s the nature of my job.  My wife is 100% on board, Ezra has no say. 

So outside of spending time with Ashleigh, I look forward to spending time with Ezra the most.

(rant warning)

< Rant >

Yes in this order...God is first. My wife is next-always will be. 

If I cannot love my wife the way she needs, want, and must be… How can I possible have any hope of conveying an authentic message of love to my son? 

My son is a product of my love for my wife.  If I am not intentional in showing and displaying love for her, in essence, I am subconsciously telling him that my love for him is starting to diminish.  Yes, my son is very important, and he is my world, but a world without a universe to hold is pointless.  Men make sure your wife is the center of your universe and everything else in your family will find its proper alignment. 

Just saying.

Gracefully Fit

Maybe some of you noticed this week, I finally settled on the mission and vision for Gracefully Fit. I have been playing around with it since I signed up as a coach with Beachbody. I want my page to offer more then just me selling some awesome products. I want to be able to truly encourage others around me to be the best version of themselves. So here they are...and they are cleverly all the same letter!

1. Faith- This is an extremely huge part behind Gracefully Fit and personally for me. For the last 10 years, I have always had a job in ministry. I worked as a youth group secretary, to working at a private Christian college, to helping plant a church, to working for a major evangelistic outreach, to being a children's pastor. Becoming a full-time mom and starting a business as a Beachbody coach, are the first jobs I have held while not working in a faith-based ministry. However, it doesn't mean that I have any less faith in doing them. If anything, I have learned how to trust God even more through both of these processes. In Gracefully Fit, I want to be able to encourage those who stumble upon my site to be inspired by my faith.

2. Family- Since I started dating James, I was always looking for creative ways to enjoy time together and show him how much I cared and loved him. I found an awesome website, called The Dating Divas that promoted healthy marriages and dating your spouse. I felt it was very important to show him daily how much he meant to me. Now having Ezra, I realize how important it is to put value with the time we all spend together and how important it is to continue taking time to show James my love. I learned a valuable trait from one of my best friends a couple of years ago that she had started to do with her kids...that was to be intentional with the time that she spent with each of them. I want Gracefully Fit to emphasize family, whatever that may look like for you, I am going to take time to share some family advice and tips.

3. Fitness- This one kind of falls into place...I mean I have Fit in my name, right? Well, for me, it is more then just fitness-it's health too. I find exercising to be a crucial routine for anyone's daily activities, but understanding your health and eating healthy is just as important. This concept is very close to my heart, because I watched a loved one this year go through a major illness due to lack of proper health. One of the main focuses I will be sharing on Gracefully Fit will be having a good health and fitness routine.

4. Finances- My final point. I could have left it at three, but I truly felt this was an important subject matter to touch basis on. I love working with numbers and budgets. One of my very first jobs was helping my aunt's business and she taught me how to do her taxes. It helped me learn a love for budgeting and balancing and understanding money better. I am not perfect in my own finances, but James and I work together on constantly improving how we spend and where we spend. This is one area I love being encouraging towards in other people's lives.

So there they are. My four points that will be highlighted each week on Gracefully Fit. I hope you share with your friends who may be struggling in one or all of these areas and I hope each person who visits finds the inspiration they need. 

There's a tid-bit for you.

www.facebook.com/gracefullyfityou
www.beachbodycoach.com/adcorbin

Keep it classy, you

So we just wrapped up watching the super bowl. It was an amazing game…until Bruce Irving could not keep his cool. 

Yeah, your team just threw away the game by not giving the ball to Mr. Beast-mode. But grace in defeat, is just as important as grace in victory. 

This applies to your fitness goals. 

When you come up short, having a pity party is not going help you at all. Get back on the horse, get the support of your coach, and get victory. 

When you hit your goal…be excited and support others. Don't be a tool! You worked hard and you've earned that body your rocking. But literally and figuratively shoving it in everyone's face is just as classless as the person who wants to give up once it gets hard.

In short, Keep it classy, world

Just saying

Cloth Bum

It was about this time last year that I woke James up at 5:00am to look at a barely positive pregnancy test. I was in tears, he was in shock. We both were beyond ecstatic. After a full confirmation that we were officially adding to our family, a flood of questions began to arise. What names did we like? What theme would the nursery be? Would I become a stay-at-home mom or would we do daycare? You know all the basic questions a new discovered parent asks themselves. But one question that was something we needed to decide (and I had to do quite a bit of research on) was cloth diapers or disposables.

It may seem silly to some... "why wouldn't I just use disposables?" "They are so simple and easy!" "Cloth is too much work". But I wanted to explore my options. (We had decided for me to be a stay-at-home and any way to cut our budget deserved a few minutes of my time). So, something I never dreamed of doing had suddenly peaked my interest and the research began.

I read blogs, I looked through pins, I talked with friends (this was probably the most resourceful). Anything and everything I could do to understand this process, I looked into. I ordered some inexpensive diapers from one site and thus my collection began. I had no idea how complex the cloth diapering world had become from the time when my grandma would use cloth. So here are just a couple tips I have learned on how to cloth, keeping it simple and inexpensive:

1) Order different styles. I remember telling a friend that I would be doing the all-in-one diapers only. And, I haven't even purchased one because I like what I have now. I got several free diapers (just paid shipping) from shopdiaper.com to try it out and I was given several from a friend as well. They were pockets with a microfiber insert. Then I discovered covers and in my head, those were the most cost efficient. We have gone primarily with covers, but I do love my pockets that I have. However, even our diaper covers have evolved. We started with flips, but I quickly discovered Alva's from a cute online store (Mott's Tots Boutique) and they were $10 less then flips. I also loved how they had a longer flap to hold the insert (and my husband even prefers those, too). Plus, we discovered that flour sack towels work wonders as an insert and a fraction of the cost!

2) Hand-washing. Ok, I admit that sounds extremely complicated. But I found an awesome website called Fluff Love and Science that has answered a lot of questions and has helped me with pretty much any problem I have. They also have a hand-washing routine and considering we have to pay for laundry and do not have control over the settings this is great for us. It takes a little bit of time, but for some reason I enjoy the systematic way they have it laid out and I actually accomplish a lot of tasks in between cycles. Killing two birds with one stone.

So all in all be flexible with your routine and diapers you choose if you are considering cloth diapering. I am so thankful that I didn't say that I was only going to use cloth at the beginning and that we received some disposables, because we didn't start until after the first couple of months to only use cloth and we even sneak a diaper in at night several times a week or when we travel. This system works for us..and works for us right now. When he starts solids, I may not be able to do it anymore. When I have two, this may not work. But we spent about $100 to start and that will last not only for this year, but with multiple kids. So saving money, with a little bit of work right now- it works for us. 

There's a tid-bit for you. 

The Results Are In

Week three has hit the Corbin household. We have had cheat meals. We have postponed workouts. We have even snuck what one would consider to be "unclean" food into our diet. (Well, I have. Long story short-there were brownies in our house...and now there are not). The thing is, James and I aren't perfect, especially with starting a whole new lifestyle. We are learning and trying our best together and we aren't going to give up.

Like I said, we are three weeks into our P90 program and clean eating and it's working incredibly well...for James. He has dropped a whole pant size, he is on the last loop of his belt (which is loose) and he has lost 15 pounds. Seriously. And he has been on the road traveling! I, on the other hand, have lost...drum-roll please...2 pounds. And it is not because of the brownies I snuck. Am I going to throw the towel in? Am I going to go binge eating everything I am not suppose to eat? Am I going to skip workouts and sulk around watching netflix non-stop? Although those sound appealing, I am not for two reasons.

1) I did not expect to lose weight starting Beachbody. What?!? I paid money for a program, I am promoting this awesome product and wanting others to try it, but I am not expecting to lose weight? So what's the point? I joined because I was tired of having no energy. I was tired of not fitting in my clothes. I was just tired. I wanted a better lifestyle. I wanted to be healthier for my family and for myself. I wanted to be an encouragement to those who would listen. And so far, I feel better, my pre-pregnancy clothes are fitting, and I surprisingly have more energy to be a mom and wife. So even though only losing two pounds might be disappointing to some, it is encouraging for me that I am being consistent and I will remain consistent.

2) I have an accountability partner and I have a support group. My husband has been my own personal coach along this journey. He keeps me balanced and pushes me to reach my goals. When we are exercising and I am half way engaged in an exercise, he is there gently saying, "Come on babe, you got this". (Sometimes he is not so gentle when I am being a bit of stinker with eating right and working out, which I need!) He cares and has partnered with me in changing our life. I also am in a challenge group that has given me so much support and encouragement. With Beachbody, they encourage you to find a challenge group in order to succeed with their products. The group I am in right now and even leading has given me so many great tips and provided encouragement went I felt like throwing in that towel or disappointed in myself.

So 15 pounds verses two. Those are the results as of week three and, honestly...I couldn't be happier.

There's a tid-bit for you.

Bringgers going to bring bring bring

Those of you who are using one of Beachbody's work out programs, may be experiencing a bit of a downer. 

Not being able to keep up. 

P90x, P90, Insanity and others typically have the main trainer giving direction while a team is going for it. At first I had trouble keeping up with Tony and literally he is talking the whole time. But I kept pushing myself. I kept giving the best I had, then pushing past that. 

Now we are doing P90 as a team, Ashleigh and me. Two weeks in, on sweat and sculpt A, I'm keeping up (outside of sprawls... the left hip pops, a congenital anomaly passed down from my dad's side of the family. I forgive you dad).

Ab ripper on the other hand... well, I suck at it. I dread the few minutes of core workout. I don't skip it. But I am just not good. However, giving up is not an option. I press on. Give all that I think I can...then I push a little more. 

That's how you get results. Getting to your breaking point, and giving a little more. 

That's a principal that applies in all of your life. 

Examples:

Your marriage. You think you have poured everything into it, and you're not happy. Give a little more. Things will get better.

Your money. Things are tight in the bank. Give a little more, whether it be a church, school, investments... it will change things. My favorite thing to do is give simply because it reminds me how lucky I am to be gainfully employed and provide for my family. Give after you feel tapped out.

Your fitness. A great body is not made easily. New ways of eating and pushing your body in ways it's not used to, but giving a little more than you think you can will always, I mean always, yield amazing results. 

Just saying. 

Maroon 5 - Give A Little More (VEVO Summer Sets): http://youtu.be/gNBY8YgAsKg

It Matters

James and I are rounding out week two of clean eating and Beachbody's program P90. The exercises have definitely been kicking our butts this week, but I felt that we had the eating nutritiously down pat...until Monday evening when we both felt lethargic and cranky. (I couldn't and really didn't even want to keep up with the modifier on the video). Then I had an epiphany about why we weren't feeling up to par, even with all this supposedly "healthiness" running through our entire household. This realization came about by a friend and one Bible verse that has always stuck out to me.

The other night James and I had an old friend of his over. It was a great night and James and I took advantage of having a guest over by serving up our last frozen pizza. (I have been raised with a waste not, want not mentality and to eat healthy I didn't just want to throw away our unhealthy food). James and I both modestly ate a few small pieces, instead of devouring the entire pizza between the two of us like we normally do. As the night continued, James' friend said something that, at the time didn't stick out to me. He said that he had really been working on not using bad language. He would do great for several days, then slip up within twenty minutes of hanging out with some of the people he worked with. It bugged him that every time he was around those certain people he just let his mouth run like them. I brushed the story aside and James and I continued on our weekend.

He skipped breakfast Saturday. I went without my normal "second breakfast" (had to throw that in there for my fellow LOTR fans). We ate out and had red meat. Delicious, yet heavy on the stomach after a week of eating clean. And to finish up the weekend we had guests over Sunday afternoon, where I made one of my favorite creamy dishes, but not quite the healthiest. Needless to say, the excitement that both of us had throughout the week over our new lifestyle seemed to almost disappear over night. Then Monday evening we were talking with each other after our workout (the workout I pretty much complained how I hated every exercise) and James says to me, "You know what it is? It's because we stopped eating clean this weekend."

Instantly, I went back to Friday night when James' friend said how certain people influenced him to be one way when he wanted to be different...and the Bible verse found in 1 Corinthians 15:33 came to mind, "Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” See James' friend would be persuade to do the very thing he didn't want to do because of the company he kept. And when we kept "bad" food in our house it was only a matter of time before we caved and ate what we had.

It's so simple to surround yourself with good company or bad company. The same goes for what we eat. You have a choice to not only take your friend choices in your hands, but your nutritional choices as well. Choose wisely and don't be corrupted. 

There's a tid-bit for you.