Now, prior to this first appointment, James and I had taken three tests and had blood work done to confirm there was actual life. Nonetheless- I still had a bit of hesitation. So today, we went back and I am amazed that I would still have doubt. I got a little bit nervous before the doppler came out, but really shouldn't have when our doctor found the heartbeat in less then five seconds. Yes, I am pregnant. The smell aversions and four weeks of nausea should have pinpointed that. But, I still didn't believe it. Even now as I sit and write this, I am wondering if our now lime is still there.
It really is fascinating to me that after all this proof of life, I still would have doubt. I am sure most first time moms and moms in general go through this feeling. Then one night you wake up to constant kicking and spend the next 20 or so weeks wishing your baby wasn't deciding to be a soccer player. However, the reason I find it so interesting is that for the last three weeks in my kid's church class we have been talking about faith. Faith is believing in what you can't see, because of what you can see. My kid's have this down. They can give examples, they know the bible stories we have shared to learn this, they know what faith is...and they have faith in God because of it.
Wondering if our baby is still there is just one small example of an area I have doubt. I am sure a lot of you struggle with simple situations to the more extensive ones and lack a bit of faith. We all will doubt, yet in those moments we also have a choice to have faith. I watch my kid's faces come to life as I share stories from the Bible of what God has done. I see them jump with excitement as they hear a new missions story and see what God is doing. I am humbled, in how my faith truly needs to be more child-liked, as I listen to them pray, fully trusting and believing God to still work in their life today and in the future.
Faith is believing in what you can't see, because of what you can see. I cannot see our baby yet. I cannot feel our baby, but it doesn't mean this little Corbin is not there. I know I saw three positive tests...I know I have a picture of a very misshaped bean in our living room...I have heard a 170/minute heartbeat that was not mine and because of all that I know I have a baby inside of me. I want to encourage you all today to stretch your faith a bit. Share a story of something God has done in your life and watch how that will catalyst into something more. Be encouraged in your faith and that thing you have been doubting about- trust God with it completely and watch Him move in your situation.
There's a tid-bit for you.
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