A Simple Kid Thought

I have always loved working with kids. I babysat in high-school, was a nanny in college and now I am a children's pastor. I love kids. Did I always dream of becoming a children's pastor? No. I had no idea when I went to college that I would become one. When I was offered this job I was actually nervous about taking it. The administration side of it was everything I dreamed of, but the children's pastor part of it...well I just didn't know how I could do it. 

Then something unique happened. God started to show me a gift with children I didn't even know I had. Two years later, I have learned so much and am blessed to be in this position. James makes fun of me every time we go out, because I am such a "kid-magnet" he says. But he has truth to his statement. Literally, last week I was just walking into a store, not really paying attention to anything and I looked down and this little girl is starring at me. Before I could smile or do anything in response, she simply waves at me with her free hand and keeps on moving. I don't know if I carry a sign around my neck that has some clever picture drawn that children just automatically cling to me, but there is something that attracts kids to me. (Believe me though, I have had my fair share of kids who wanted nothing to do with me).

Now, I am not trying to brag or say I am some kind of expert with kids, but over these two years and the years prior that I worked with kids, I have concluded that two major things contribute to this reaction from children. And I have learned one valuable lesson that keeps me humbly focused. 

The two majors:
1) I notice children. I have always made a joke when new people come into church and I have to ask them their name a second time. I tell them that if they were under four feet tall I would have their name completely memorized by now. But it's true. I work hard at noticing children in a crowd. I try not to bypass them or ignore them. When a child has something to say-it is important. I talk to them at their level and try to give them as much of my attention as I can. I respect them and look them in their eyes. My goal when talking with a child is that they feel loved and valued by the time they leave. 

2) I am patient. I know that is a simple statement, but I am sure that any parent who has had an exhausted and hungry child in the middle of a store and had to pass by the toy aisle would agree that it is not that simple. Every week before going into service, I prep myself mentally about how I am going to be patient that day. I pray for a patience that I know I don't have, but that God gives. One time of me being impatient loses an entire trust of a child. Children need patience and a safe environment to learn and if the one in charge is not patience with them, the learning process becomes that much more difficult.

There are other things I do and am aware of when I work with kids, but these are the majors. Because I choose to notice kids and be patient with them, I have been let into their incredible world and learned more than I possibly could imagine and strengthened my faith. Which leads me to the valuable lesson I have learned.

The lesson
See in Matthew 18:3, there is a familiar bible verse that always has tugged at my heart. Jesus is talking with his disciples and they ask him who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven and Jesus replies, "... I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven...". A child. These twelve great men stood before the son of God and were told to become like little children. How in the world would one even begin to process being like a child? It's impossible to become a child again and being a child is something society has struggled for years with to make kids grow up faster and not be "little children".

Well to make this pivotal point, I have the perfect example of what I am talking about and what I feel Jesus meant here. Last Friday, I was spending time with my friend and as we were talking about life and faith in God, she shared a story of her nieces from that week. Her nieces are four and three years old. The eldest was sick one day that week and so the youngest did something. She did it without sarcasm. She did it without fear. She did it in all honesty and firm belief that Jesus hears her and cares. She placed her hand on her older sisters head and said, "In Jesus name you're going to get better." She is three and has more faith then I do at times. 

We forget to have faith and hope, something we were never meant to do. We stop noticing people and things around us. And children don't. They notice everything we do. It's obvious that my friend's niece has seen someone in her family pray like that, so she is mimicking what she saw. I feel Jesus picked a perfect description to express to his disciples that day, an unforgettable lesson. Become like a little child. Have faith like a little child.

There's a tid-bit for you.

L.O.V.E

What do you expect? It IS Valentine's Day! And please don't just ignore this post because you think it's going to be all lovey-dovey. Read it first and then if you didn't like it....well just don't say anything. 

I have to admit that Valentine's Day is truly one of my favorite holidays. It comes right up with Christmas. I love this love holiday. Now some of you may be thinking, "Oh, she is engaged...no reason why she loves it." Not true. Yes, I am excited to spend my first Valentine's with James, but this is the first Valentine's I have ever had someone special to share it with. So why do I love this holiday so much? I asked myself that this morning and came to the following conclusion. 

Teddy Bears in Balloons. 

Yes, I would go with the commercialization of the holiday to explain my deep love for this significant day. But there is a point. As long as I can remember, when I was a child, I would receive a teddy bear in a balloon for Valentine's Day. I would receive beautiful velvet heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and gorgeous red and pink flowers with cards, but the teddy bear in balloon would arrive and my Valentine's Day was complete. I can watch home videos and see how I loved all my gifts, but that one took the cake. It would sit on the coffee table all day and I would just adore it. My Uncle Boop (Herb) did this for me each year as a child. Why? Because he loved me, and he wanted me to know it. Just like my mom and grandma and all my aunts and uncles ...they showered me with love, because they never wanted that doubt of being unloved in my head.

See, I have never met my dad. Once my mom found out she was pregnant, he became obsolete in my life-his choice. Therefore, something unique happened. An opportunity arose for my family and church family to become more then just their typical roles. They stood by my mom and loved me. I have pivotal moments in my life with each of my great aunts and uncles, my aunts and uncles, my cousins and majority of my church family in Oakdale, and I learned valuable lessons from them all. They might not even know that they taught it to me, but I learned life from all of them. 

I learned it's necessary to slow down every once in awhile and set your radio station right from my Uncle Sambo. (At the time though, he learned to never make me late for school). My Aunt Susie showed me the importance of filing and trusted me with doing her books. Working for her gave me a strong basis that opened up two crucial job opportunities for me. My Uncle Steve taught me to be goofy. I will never forget the time he said he was going to give me a goodnight kiss and then left the room...only to return with a Hershey kiss in his hand. Every Sunday I was greeted by Godly men, who didn't just say hi and give me a bulletin, they genuinely asked how I was and cared to know. Every Wednesday night, Sunday school, kid's church teacher took time to teach me how God loves me, and then showed it in their patience with me. Andrew and Shawna took a big leap of faith with me and poured into my life as a teenager. They let me see their life together in ministry and how in the midst of working they built a loving marriage. I know, confidently, that James and I will be able to be in ministry and have a successful marriage, because of witnessing the strength and compassion of Andrew and Shawna throughout the beginning of theirs.
 
My family and friends must have had a schedule of which day was theirs to love me, because I felt it everyday. I learned from seeing their love, just a small glimpse of God's love towards me. I love Valentine's Day because it is a day of expressing love. So, every year we wait for one day to go all out in telling someone we love them and I shared these very small glimpses of my life, because I want to encourage each one of you to not lose this one day in giving your teddy bear in a balloon.

There's a tid-bit for you. 

Time Moments.

Time Moments.
Lately I have been having these time moments. Friday evening was the final push to actually realize what was happening. See all week I have been trying to figure out what I could possibly write about and Friday it finally came to light. Time moments.
In less then a twenty-four hour span this weekend, I have had the following happen: a funeral, a hospital visit, a birth, a death, a wedding, and finding a place to live. My weekend could be a movie. All of these events create time moments.
The funeral was beautiful. A bit of an oxymoron I know...how can a funeral be beautiful. It just simply was. My grandma Dorthy (not my real grandma, but the only name I knew here by) past away. As I sat at her funeral I was blown away by the life this strong, faithful women lived and the legacy she left behind. I discovered the beauty of her love for God and how she geniuenly shared His love with everyone she possibly could. As the funeral proceeded, one thing above all stood out to me, a 64 year marriage of true love. (Yes, when he was asked what day they were married in May, he couldn't remember and just answered "a Spring day". I couldn't help but laugh and see James saying that in 64 years.) But their love, you saw it in her husbands eyes as he sat through the service. He had the same love in his eyes right then as he did in some of their first pictures together. A time moment. See, their marriage took just a moment...their first child just a moment...discovering she had cancer, just a moment. They all add up to a time moment...their life together. Those memories were all moments that in just a blink of eye ended.
When the funeral ended I stopped by the hospital to see my Papa Joe. He has been having strokes all week long and there is nothing that can be done. My Aunt Ann sat there just spending time with her husband. They have been married over 60 years. Aunt Ann married my Papa Joe when she was 17. She has stood by his side since that moment. Unwaveringly. And now she continues to stand by his side, patiently doing whatever she needs to do for him. Cherishing all their time moments together and creating some more while he is in the hospital right now. Watching her strength that afternoon was nothing short of amazing. A time moment that I will never forget and always be challenged by.
Late that afternoon, I left Oakdale and as I drove to Costco to meet James, I spent time with God. Praying over my future, asking for strength and wisdom to be a wife that James needs me to be and praising Him for all that He has done (we just found the perfect place to live after we get married). I thought about the conversation James and I would have as we walked the aisles of savings and bulk items. As we would talk about our life together I would be thinking about the items we would be buying together in just a few months and no doubt he would be contemplating how he could convince me to let him get two frozen yogurts.
And then there it was. A time moment. The very beginning of a time moment. I called my love to see if he had parked yet and from the lack of his presence on the phone, I could tell something was terribly wrong. For the next half hour, we sat in his car, holding hands and crying together. A time moment had occur- the last one we expected. James dear sister, Erin gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. And in the same moment lost her Lucas. As we sat miles away from this tragedy, we could only imagine the loss Erin was experiencing. A time moment.
So how do you process these time moments? The good, the bad, the understood, the confusing. I don't know. I have no idea. I can't begin to process the loss of a baby, losing a spouse, watching a loved one suffer in a hospital bed. They simply are time moments. Time that was just moments, that left a lasting impression on ones life.
In the midst of all my weekend ups and downs, one thing was unfailing in all of these time moments. Love. A constant steady love. I could feel it in the sanctuary as over 100 people came to celebrate and honor the legacy of such a faithful women. I saw it in the face of my great aunt as she sat and watched and adored her husband in the midst of his suffering. And I know it is present in Erin's hospital room. See God's love is unconditional. Those small glimpses of love cannot compare to the experience of God's love. Through every time moment, the pleasantly experienced, the utterly confused- a greater love and hope reside.
There's a tid-bit for you.

A no picture note

I promised myself. I absolutely vowed that 100% of me would not be that person. I could never believe the stories I would hear when this happened to other people. But me? No. It would never, ever, ever happen. 

Until now. I have official joined the club to say the least and this is one club I am glad they don't make shirts for. My over dramatic entrance as I am sure some of my readers have become accustomed to, is for a valid reason I now fully endorse and support. 

I was talking to my grams on the phone while driving. Therefore, I had my ear phones in. And then to kill two birds with one stone she passed the phone onto my mom. As I pulled into the driveway, I was still on the phone, but I desperately had to use the restroom. You know that lovely perk of getting older, right? So logically taking the phone into the bathroom with my ear phones in to finish the conversation is truly the smart thing to do. Right as the conversation is ending and I think I am off the hook of having a "convo on the commode" my mom gives the phone to my grams, because she has one more thing to say that simply cannot wait until another time. So my plan kicks into gear and as I configure a system that keeps my phone safe and allows me to use the toilet with my ear phones in...and then my grams is done with the conversation. Take a second to picture my phone on the sink and me bending at the waist so my ear phones aren't pulling to much on the phone and I have to stop dead in my tracks of preparing to go to the bathroom to switch gears and turn the phone off first. I know...touch screen and still my life is this difficult. And then it happened. With the conversation over, I forgot the ear phones still attached to my head, pulled the phone at the perfect angle to plummet into the toilet. I froze. I mean I literally just watched my life take its life into the toilet. 

The optimism in me depleted as my phone went from ok to bad to worse. It is now sitting in a bag of rice overnight and my prayers are with it for a full and speedy recovery. 

I know, this is an over-reaction and my life can and will completely function without a phone. It isn't the end of the world. But really, just in these very few short hours, I have come to realize how so many people would feel this way if this happened to them. It's amazing that tonight I attended my church's young adult's group and during worship I sang and believed without hesitation "all I need is you Jesus" and then I get home and my phone becomes indisposed of and I feel at such a loss. I had to stop myself and realize, phone or not, that worship song is true. All I need is you, Jesus. I can have a perfect day, I could have a horrible day. I could have more then I possibly need, I could have nothing that I need. I could get everything done better then I could have ever imagined, I could have nothing turn out the way it was suppose to. But throughout those moments and by the end of day, I always realize that it is Jesus that I need and it is only Him that I honestly need. He is my peace, my protector, my provider. And losing a phone for the night..or completely will never change that. 

There's a tid-bit for you.